Friday, September 29, 2006

Dragonball Z Curtains

Radio Alpha2

Synopsis: It tells of

radio STA2 of the ship, the better DJs Phonia name and a strange curse being inflicted.


***

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you.

Now Alpha2 Radio transmissions will be monitored due to some unpleasant dedications that we all could hear. I will mention only one:

From Spirit to Cousinefrancaise : if not give me back the pictures in the download area of \u200b\u200bwomen (WC ed), I say to all the chicken you served for lunch was used in the experiments of the doc. Bandinion with depleted uranium.


Voiceover

Radio Alpha2
is the radio frequency modulation stereo STA2. A
this turns the crew to request a song or do some dedication. Here only run shiny vinyl disks. The rooms are shabby but romantic. Everything smells of coils and discs. The equipment is old antiques like microphone Sennheiser inherited from the founder of radio Carmine Aburana .

The notes come out from the old trumpets placed on a fucking ship is always poignant. The splendor of the stars that shine over the dirty window in the carrier facing the crew of melancholy and sadness. RadioAlpha2 is the soundtrack to this attitude.

When the radio plays, even the faces of the rougher radiate to human feelings. While
staves to 265 bps invade every corner of the ship, the eyes of the sailors are lost in empty space. Many think of your beloved, other children away. Who has no one shoots a saw.

In radio there are two DJ: Rocchino said valve and Phone.

Rocchino owes its nickname to the passion for the old valve radio. Eats them.
He leads programs and request and dedications Canta Napoli .
looks like a little bit to Marzullo.

Phonia is a DJ by the ethereal voice and sensual, the legends, beautiful.
No one has ever seen. Teleports on STA2 only to conduct the program at night. As she
said to be the victim of an old curse alien.
It is said that a young girl, was kidnapped by a sect of Planet Leonardhubbard . She was kept imprisoned for years under threat of being sold to a terrible alien, a Previtillium .

The Grand Master of the sect, envious of her beauty, condemned to invisibility. The mean damnation was made even more ruthless because Phonia would reappear only in the dark and only if accompanied by melancholy notes.


The natural result was to become a DJ night that program Music mishandles hearts ...

James Tiberius Kirk was in love with her and her voice. Do not miss a puntata manco se fuori fosse in corso una battaglia e sua la nave fosse destinata alla catastrofe.

Kirk, mentre fumava un sigaro, fantasticava su come potesse essere il suo viso, le sue mani, i suoi capelli, il culo. Su questo rifletteva molto più che sulle altre parti del corpo.

Alla fine di ogni trasmissione di Phonia, il Capitano appuntava dolci pensieri su pezzi di carta volanti ...

Scrisse queste poche parole, peraltro senza senso, mentre la DJ invisibile concluse la sua ultima performace radiofonica con un brano di Bruce, Hungry Heart...


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Instructions For Playmobil Castle

Death on board

- Synopsis

It tells of the death by euthanasia Excavation, assistant to the astral calendar, the arrival of the STA2 Milingo, a strange coded message ...

****

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you.

tell you that it is off Excavation Holy of 93 years, assistant to the astral calendar.
The funeral will be held at the ceremonial hall next to the toilet.
will not be admitted to the ancient tradition to sing the requiem with farts and belches.
The body will be exposed for forty minutes. Will be encapsulated and then launched into space.

Here poster funeral


Voiceover

Seriously in love with a 18 year old that did not match, the poor Scavo also Kirk's will die by euthanasia.

Given the importance of the request, the decision was put to the crew that was expressed through a special referendum.
The voting took place regularly. Slightly decreased the number of voters than in previous consultations. The Catholics went to the polls in protest against the sweet death. The Liberals voted many many times. Altercations outside the polling stations between fundamentalists and radicals. These

projections of voting exit polls :

79% : croak as well. one mouth less to feed 37%
: let's keep it alive but torturiamolo
64% : I want to finish it personally
11%: there is something wrong with this referendum

Captain Kirk, Liberal extraction and whores of adoption, taken to these good results. A time ignoring the protests of some Catholic members of the crew who asked to wait until the end of the examination. He then proceeded with euthanasia.

a noble mind, he wanted Kirk Scavo chose the way migliore per morire.
Da buon vecchio maniaco, Scavo chiese di terminare la sua lunga esistenza per sfinimento sessuale con sopraggiunta morte.

Il Capitano , per un attimo perlesso, decise di dare seguito alle richieste, accogliendo peraltro la proprosta dell'equipaggio che tutto venisse videoregistrato e messo a disposizione della videoteca hard della STA2.

Il giorno seguente Scavo fu addizionato di potenti farmaci per l'erezione e messo in un privé.
Da un pianeta a luci rosse fu teletrasportata il boia: Smanthaxxx, troiona intergalattica, nota per la capacità di aspirare cazzi a sette atmosfere.

Nelle primissime ore del mattino terrestre ebbe inizio la dolce morte.

Dal privé giunsero suoni e rumori inenarrabili. Tutto durò pochi attimi. Un ululato mise fine alle ostilità. Seguì lungo silenzio.

Il Capitano entrò nel privé per accertarsi dell'avvenuta morte di Scavo.
La scena che gli si mostrò innanzi fu impressionante: Scavo giacieva in terra in posa vitruviana con il cazzo ancora eretto. Gli occhi spalancati. Sulle gambe recava i segni della sexycolluttazione. La bocca era aperta con la dentiera ancora tremolante. Sul petto un messaggio cifrato che Gigi, l'assistente di Kirk, si impegnò a tradurre. Samanthaxxx in un angolo del privé mostrò il conto: ' Fan zinque mila lire ' disse con uno strano accento, che più che alieno sembrava bolognese.

Il cadavere fu preparato per la cerimonia di addio.
Dalla Terra arrivò con un'astronave vaticana bianca e gialla Milingo . Presidiò la funzione religiosa.

Il porporato negro era legato a Scavo da lunga amicizia. Note le merende dei due con binocoli ad infrarossi nelle campagna del Pianeta di San Casciano.

La cerimonia fu partecipata. Molti si commossero. Moltissimi dormirono.

Milingo recitò questa preghiera:

Zignore, brendi nelle tue mani l'anima di Sgavo Sando.
Abbraggialo e sgaldalo gol duo guore.
Ghiedi per favore dove ha lasciado il zuo arghivio di fodo dove gi
zono io ghe ghiavo gome un riggio.

Amen .

Piansero tutti.

La capsula con il morto fu lanciata nello spazio. Razzi tuonarono in onore del defunto. Tutto era finito. Scavo era morto per amore.

Radio Alpha Uno, radio di dediche e richieste in modulazione di frequenza stereo, mandò in onda un pezzo di Fra' Giuseppe Cionfoli.

Piansero tutti. Di nuovo.


P.S.

I monitor segnalarono dei colpi provenire dall'involucro funebre che ormai si allontanava nel buio dell'universo infinito.

Intanto Gigi riuscì finalemente a decifrare la frase incisa sulle spoglie di Scavo:

Svegliatemi alle 8.oo. Scusate calligraphy but I just did
first grade. Ah, I forgot ... I do not want to die.
SAMANTHAXXX I LOVE YOU!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Best Things To Write In A Wedding Book

Post-it

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Lenses Element Changing

The Captain's first encounter with the aliens (?)

Stardate: 10023.12

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you .

We have screens in a spaceship not denoted. Please
the radar officer EHLA (short for Edwin Howard Luis Armstrong ndr) di dare tutti i dettagli del repentino avvicinamento del possibile nemico. E passatemi un sigaro cazzo, sono nervoso! E' la prima volta che incontriamo stronzi alieni in questo fottuto viaggio!
Oddio ... lo sapevo, mi sono emozionato e mo c'ho voglia pure di pisciare.


*****

Voce fuori campo

EHLA,
un negro di due metri , fu chiamato in questo modo in onore di Edwin Howard Armstrong. Questo tizio partecipò alla creazione del radar ad onda continua. Luis gli fu attribuito dalla madre che lo voleva grande trombettista. Lui imparò a strombettare. With the ass.

*****


(the captain's voice crackles over the speakers inside the music, interrupting thou wilt is the U.S., broadcast on the radio board. Dedications Radio requests)



''to all the crew. We sighted a ship of unknown origin.
We believe it may be of alien enemy ship or space pirates.
maximum alert. Everyone to battle stations. I do not want mistakes.''

He left a terrible mess. Everyone was trying to recover its place. Many were forced to take the manuals of combat as totally unprepared. Percchi of them, in fact, had been recommended by Clemente Mastella y Pinto XXII, a direct descendant of an old minister of the Earth. Due to a strike of laundry, uniforms were unavailable. All found themselves armed to the teeth but shamefully in their underwear or, at best, in my pajamas. All this while The enemy ship (?) Slowly approaches the SigaroToscanoAlpha2.



Open communication channel transduction (?) Linguolabbialis and prepare photonic missiles. You never know!


JTK: Here is the SigaroToscanoAlpha2 and I am the Captain Kirk, please identify
alien ship : ( silenzio )
JTK : Ripeto, qui è la SigatoTosc... ecc. e ed io sono Kirk. Siete pregati di darci patente e libretto!
Nave Aliena : ( silenzio )
JTK : ( visibilmente teso ) Brutti figli di puttanta! Vi ho detto di dirmi chi cazzo siete! Santo Cielo sto per tirarvi addosso l'intero arsenale! Vaffanculo pezzi di merda alieni bastardi del cazzo. Eppoi noi abbiamo vinto pure i mondiali O OOOO OOOO OOO OOO OOO... Non so che cazzo c'entra ma 'sta cosa mi gasa un casino in momenti come questi! Mo vi ammazzooo! Santo Dioooo
Nave Aliena : Dio? Capitano ha detto Dio per caso?
JTK : Eh?
alien ship: Captain Do you believe in God? And what do you think of the Universe infinite?
JTK: (stunned) But .. Ma .. What the fuck are the questions?
alien ship : Yes Captain ... I understand ... We identify ourselves. I am the mummy revived Charles Taze Russell, founder of the Jehovah's Witnesses. This is the ship UltràGeova. For some time we have undertaken missions to space converter peoples alien to our religion.
JTK: (thoughtfully) I see ...
UltràGeova (formerly alien ship) : I'd like to do some little question. Can I?
JTK: (giving a puzzled look to her) Please!
UltràGeova (ex Nave Aliena) : Che ne pensa della fine del mondo? Ha mai letto la nostra rivista Torre di Guardia? Crede che dopo la morte ci sia la vita? Crede di essere stato tanto buono da meritare la salvezza? Sa dirmi se per questa esistenza valga la pena vivere?
JTK : (fumando un sigaroe ghignando maliziosamente) posso rispondere a questa sua ultima domanda?
UltràGeova (ex Nave Aliena) : Certo, con vero piacere!
JTK : Direi che a volte non vale proprio la pena vivere. Proprio no!
UltràGeova (ex Nave Aliena) : Quindi?
JTK : FUOCOOOOOOO!

324 rockets photonic ended the journey of the army of Jehovah looking for sheep. Applause, fart and burp some awkward received conclusively that the explosion of the Space Jehovah saw the ship explode. Only Gypsy, said Gigi, Assistant Captain Kirk shook his head in disapproval. He believed that an act of diplomacy was enough to send away the pain in the ass. He was held without dinner as punishment.

The mummy of Charles Taze Russell entamente moved into the void of the universe. Fell miracolosmanete standing on a planet uninhabited and inhospitable called Matteoli234 . Everything was finished. At least it seemed ...




JTK

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Walt Disney Bracelets

Gypsy, a newcomer

receive and public



*************** Dear Captain,

in reference to the provision of services relating to the probability
that there was a cat on your spaceship, I can confirm that there is a cat and I are: GYPSY III MicioMao the Planet of the son of the King of Gypsyland. I am writing with an old Commodore 64 in the hold, where I slipped through the teleporter, but I set wrong and now I find myself wedged between scrap and spoiled food.

I am the only survivor of a long war between our species and big worms aliens who have invaded the planet in search of the reserves of frozen mice. A war that lasted more than one hundred years has seen succumb entrembi contenders.
My father, GYSPY II, before he died to the bite of a worm, he put me in the spaceship Sheba 1001, launch into space looking for a place to live in peace and harmony with other beings. During the trip, which lasted 18 years and thousands of hand, I studied the subject, with a thesis entitled specializing intergalactic conflicts and disputes. Perspectives and solutions.

I analyzed every war or crisis was reaching vast knowledge in this field. I could quote from memory thousands of peace treaties or truces. If wish I can talk about the war between Clisterium and Vasellinatorix Promptdidos galaxy and the magnificent act of diplomacy of their respective ambassadors, and Cliste123234 Vasel143o93 (in this galaxy are known by the name of the planet and a sequential number) that ended the hostilities.

Based on my knowledge of these, I think I can be an excellent candidate as an assistant to Voss for any disputes that may arise during his travels.
send you updated CV with photo.

POSTSCRIPT: If I grant this

priviliegio, Le would I give in exchange for your attention to the supply of porn movies that my father adored my salary to the spacecraft. Question of 130 000 porn movies.

Gypsy III for friends Gigi

*******************************

Voiceover

Gypsy, indeed Gigi, was pulled from the hold. The crew was very angry to have another mouth to share the few stocks on board. Cousinefrancaise also had the idea of \u200b\u200bcooking it. Someone, not being fought nail on the ship, he wanted to use it as a substitute for a butt. But he was spared. Captain Kirk wanted him as an assistant, not so much for his diplomatic skills as the basis of the pornazzi Gattaccia brought in dowry.



Sunday, September 17, 2006

Funny Things On A Cake

Kirk reads a poem

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you.

Poetry: I will not die on Sunday

Polverizzami laser
and scatter my ashes in the black universe
But do not do it on Sunday

sell me to the moon cannibal Issei Sagawa,
and hear the echo of my screams
But do not do it on Sunday

Scioglimi acids in the seas of PepsiCoca
odorami in vapors and caramelized
But do not do it on Sunday

Venus And you kiss me with your three mouths
hold me with your six arms
gasps of pleasure
not look at me with that eye
could die
and I do not want
because it is Sunday.

***

Voiceover

After this poem was necessary assistance from the Doc Bandinion
to thwart the suicide of gay dwarves, Pongo and Boss.



JTK

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Scott Kay Artiste Milau

Communication Service. (Protocol 002)

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you.



Communication Service (the radio crackles the voice of the ship)

detectors signal the presence of terrestrial life forms, but not human.
The fact that I sneeze makes me assume that there is a Gattaccia on this fucking ship.
If I take on board who has me buggered!

(diffondevono it meows in the ship)



JTK

Friday, September 15, 2006

Songs To Play At Basketball Games 2010

Conuntdown. Ready to go!

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you.

crew of dissolute slakers are days that we scratch the bird.
It 'now time to remove the four bolts and go.
I would say that we have.
I would make a great start to the. I want to emphasis ragazzi!
Sala Motori capito?
Dalla sala motori in coro: 'SIIIIII!!!'.
Bene, voglio una una cosa all'Apollo 13, intesi?
Hey ! lo dico a voi della plancia!
E non mi guardate con quella faccia.. lo sapete che ho un debole per quel film, cazzo!

Allora facciamolo. Eseguiamo i test e datemi un GO se tutto è Ok!

Torre di controllo: Procediamo!

JTK: Carburante
Sala Motori: GO
JTK: Radar
Sala Radar: GO
JTK: Motore ad antimateria
Sala Motori: GO
JTK: Orologio e datario astrale
Scavo Santo (orologiaio): Non funziona una cazzo!
JTK: Scavo, smettila di farti le seghe e vai subito a give him the rope!
Scavo: OK ... Just another cutter and go! Indeed GO!
JTK: Come on ... Deflector shield, photon torpedoes and various cocks
Bridge: GO
JTK: Tractor beam, cloaking device
Bridge: GO
JTK: Mo go to the point ... Cook like we put the jelly!?
Cousinefrancaise (cook snob): This kitchen looks like a barn! How will I wonder ...
JTK: Cousinefrancaise of shit, just tell me GO or NO GO! And if you say NO GO propels you into hyperspace with a salami in the ass!
Cousinefrancaise: So .. I would say .. short
JTK: Cousinefra ..
Cousinefrancaise: Ok. OK. GOOO
JTK: Chinese Restaurant Chinese
: Plonti Polonti! GOOO!
JTK: Massage Room
Ramona (viados Brazil): Go, tomboy, GO!
JTK: stereo
Bridge: GO
JTK: And Then Music Maestro!
Bridge: GOOO









Voice Over

And so it was that Captain Kirk went with his ship, SigaroToscanoAlpha2.
The spacecraft disintegrated in a cloud of blinding light. No noise. There was only the voice of Gloria Gaynor and the choir of the crew that echoed. In a millisecond the shuttle pierced
all layers of the atmosphere without a shot being fired.
so begins the adventures of Captain Kirk in search of new worlds and some pussy to fuck.



JTK

Queens Boulevard Criminal Court

Communication Service (protocol 0001)

E 'Captain Kirk talking to you.

Communication Service:

the crew.

E 'is forbidden to use the teleporter to go to the toilet.
is not nice to be back together one behind you while you're pissing. Mo
enough, ugly fuckers.
The next launch will kick your ass in space without a suit.
I hope I was clear.




JTK

Thursday, September 14, 2006

West Point Without A Single Demerit

the cockpit

E ' Captain Kirk talking to you. The time

astral do not know. The time clock is stopped. Should I call Excavation Holy farlemo to fix.

That's right. It's called just that: Holy Scavo. I do not know what the name or the name. Whatever.

Scavo - Sicilian origin - has 96 years, three teeth and 1221 diseases. Taken with the sole task of keeping an eye on the system indicating the time and date astral. E 'set with a digital clock pendulum. I can not do anything.
now stopped. Scavo has forgotten to give him the charge. Hyperbaric snoring in his bedroom.
When I see him I remove the catheter and attack him in the neck!

at this time I am in the cockpit that snot like hell because someone left a flaming mocha on the radar and now no one sees anything.
dickheads who put it.
However, the coffee was good. Mixture of mixed beans in Brazil and Martians. The green beans are obviously Martians.

The cabin is not very big. We're in 16. But they all stick together.
command from an old barber's chair. Of course, full of sophisticated accessories.
E 'B-Ticino-covered buttons. We are satisfied.
From this position I can control all the operations command.

In a future post I will tell the crew that I stand between the balls all day. They are nice ... quiet. I tell you only that my chair has a little digital rotation system. I have a couple of dwarfs gay , Pongo and Boss, the command. Cosetti These are the result of genetic engineering and robotics. First were two garden gnomes made of plaster.
were brought to life by our ship's doctor, doc. Bandinion . Then I speak to him too. Indeed ... do in the next post.

Isonmma the two little men are always beside me. I will not conceal that I am getting a bit 'weights. Their homosexuality is exaggerated. They speak constantly of handbags, treatment for wrinkles, sun and space centers of dwarves with big cock. Unbearable, I swear.
them I can stand only for the fact that the poor have suffered a lot at the beginning of their new life. In fact, in the process of animation and their packaging have been inserted, pork genetically treated mitral valves. The nurse said that asshole Siringotto has seen fit to remove them from maialedopo it cooked properly.
The valves were cooked and therefore miss so much. Everything has been resolved promptly. The new valves have been extracted from the body of 'nurse who now lives thanks to a plastic heart provided by Lego Heart. Lego has made progress my dear!
forgot that cursed dwarf breathe through your nose and exhale through the ass. What the fuck!
are already on the waiting list for a change in breathing. Otherwise kill the doctor.

Mo must go. I'm going to smoke a cigar space ...

JTK